were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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