whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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