you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
