So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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