There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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