ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize