two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
