I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
