Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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