white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
