I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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