Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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