You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize