I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have demons in me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
