Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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