i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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