Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
In America we eat man semen.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
