Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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