Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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