I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she peed on how many people?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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