I can text with my tongue
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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