My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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