My vagina just recognized that song.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
