seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
