it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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