there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
