omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
