He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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