U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
