No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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