ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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