It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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