Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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