I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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