i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
