I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
