We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
