Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
