I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
