you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
