Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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