it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
