I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
