it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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