After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
