she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Farmville is her only friend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
