I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
