So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
