maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize