We're facebook friends in real life
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
