Fine. I'll sleep in my office
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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