dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
