I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
