i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
