PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
