I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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