One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
