I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fuck appropriateness.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
