farters have to be the big spoon...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
