Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize