I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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