I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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