Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
