is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
