I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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