New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
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I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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