I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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