Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize