I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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