the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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